Football Cow
Man City 1-1 Brentford 14:23 , Michael Jones Pre-planned celebrations Nothing ruins the moment of your favourite player scoring quite like when they tell their joyous team-mates to give them space so they can pull on a Deadpool costume and do a Fortnite dance beside the corner flag.
Nostalgia merchants Sure, the game was much better when defenders could bulldoze through the back of the more skilful players on the pitch.
The current state of the offside rule When you see referees picking over slow-motion replays to try to work out if a striker’s shoulder blade is offside at the exact moment the ball leaves his team-mate’s foot, maybe it’s time to ask if the original purpose of the rule has been lost: discouraging goal poachers.
Club media capping up certain words Why do they keep capitalising the word ‘club’ in every statement and quotation? Even worse is ‘coach’. You’re not Prince, you monsters.
Clapping through a minute’s silence More specifically, the need to do this because a group of adults aren’t capable of standing quietly and respectfully without someone booing (and then being booed, making things worse).
"Can I have your shirt?" signs The pathetic, pleading Oliver Twist characters with incorrectly spelled signs, trying to make their team’s star player feel guilty before the whistle has even blown to start the game.
Throwing pints in fan zones It was England’s World Cup run in 2018 that saw pint throwing take off – literally.
Ball boys playing the fool On the whole, FFT is pretty happy that children don’t work up chimneys any more.
Ronaldo vs Messi This used to be a fun discussion but has become the dullest debate in the sport since everyone felt the need to pick a side.